I am the mother…

This post was originally written 3 years ago -hence the ages of the children being younger.

  • I am the mother who sent her child to school sans his jacket on a cool spring morning and watched him shiver as he bravely walked in to school.
  • I am the mother who forgot to put her daughter’s school hat back in the car thus causing her to receive a uniform infringement.
  • (And the mother who can’t work out why a 10-year-old is not capable of doing this herself *ahem*)
  • I am the mother who fed her children cake for breakfast because she forgot to buy bread.
  • I am the mother of the 4-year-old boy who threw the tantrum of the century in the school car park this morning.
  • I am also the mother who glared at the other parents who were rubbernecking and tut-tutting at her child as she picked him up and threw him over her shoulder to keep him safe from the oncoming traffic…
  • and the mother who would do it again in a heartbeat.
  • I am the mother who survives on very little sleep and a lot of caffeine.
  • I am the mother who tries to do too much sometimes.
  • I am also the mother who sees what everyone else does for their children and fights the feelings of inadequacy that wash over her in tidal waves.
  • I am the mother who often pulls her hair out in sheer frustration because she is unable to remember a lot of important things that need to be done, due to the stress levels that are constantly rising at this time of the year.
  • I am the mother who finds more grey hairs every time she looks in the mirror.
  • I am the mother who keeps chewing gum in her glove box at all times so that she can hand them to kids who “forgot” to clean their teeth on the way to school.
  • I am the mother who rarely sorts her washing  *Gasp*
  • I am the mother who is fluent in sarcasm but knows that she shouldn’t use it as often as she does.  Especially on her children who don’t understand it.
  • I am the mother  who sometimes buys treats and hides them in the house because she is tired of sharing everything else that she owns and wants just one thing for and ONLY her.
  • I am the mother who owns 2 diaries and a calendar in the attempt to become more organised but has misplaced them all  :/
  • I am the mother with the short attention span who often really struggles to focus due to her constant sleep deprived state.
  • I am the mother who really wishes she could toughen up a bit and not get so hurt by other people’s words.
  • I am the mother who definitely thinks that exercise is overrated. Come and live in this house and try to be idle with my kids around. Not possible.
  • I am the mother who wishes that she didn’t comfort eat so often.
  • I am the mother who would rather be accused of talking too much then be the kind of person that you need to draaaaaaaaaaag a conversation out of. This is who she is. Like it or leave .
  • I am the mother who really wishes that school went until 5pm and that homework didn’t exist. She is exhausted from spending twenty minutes just trying to get her son to sit at the table and another 20 minutes convincing him to pick up the pencil!
  • I am the mother who secretly loves watching pre-school tv shows and misses them now that her baby has started school.
  • I am the mother who still cries at least once a week because she misses her Dad even though we lost him over 4 years ago.
  • I am the mother who is unable to eat just one grape. The grapes HAVE to be eaten in pairs. One on each side of the mouth. (Hmmm, wonder where Harley gets his quirks from?)
  • I am the mother who gets cranky when she’s not taken seriously. I may not have a fancy degree but I know my children better than anybody else on this earth and that should account for something…
  • I  am the mother that rearranges other people’s cutlery drawers when she visits their homes. It must go in the same order that they are laid on the table : Fork, Spoon, Knife. She doesn’t cope if they are different 🙂 And incidentally,  I am the mother who didn’t develop OCD tendencies until she was thrust in the world that is ASD and the stress that goes along with it!

However:

  • I am also the mother who would move heaven and earth just to make her children smile.
  • I am the mother who gets to witness MANY achievements and successes in her children’s lives and is finds joy in the smaller things because for us they are HUGE!
  • I am the mother who is convinced that her children will go higher and grow stronger than a lot of people give them credit for due to the handful of people that DO believe in them and their go-get- ‘em attitudes.
  • I am the mother who is thankful that God is daily giving her more and more insight into their little worlds so that she can understand them just that little bit more.
  • I am the mother who would some days like to hang up her hat and resign. Or at least have a couple of weeks paid leave. Several times a year.The mother who didn’t read the fine print before putting her hand up and volunteering to do this job BUT the mother who doesn’t walk away from somethings that she’s started until she sees it to completion.
  • I am the mother who often spends her own birthday money on her children because she wants to bless them as they bless her by just being themselves.
  • I am the mother who cannot for the life of her understand what makes her children tick but would give anything to be granted a free pass into their thought processes so she could make sure that their every need is met 100%
  • I am the mother who wants to learn to appreciate the little things.
  • I am the mother who wants to learn NOT to stress on other little things!
  • I am the mother who would take a bullet for her children.
  • Yes this mother is fiercely loyal.
  • I am the mother who often lays awake at night thinking of fun things that she can do with her children on the weekend and willing the hours to tick by so that the weekend can start.
  • I am the mother who wants to join her kids by dancing in the puddles in the rain and skip through supermarket aisles singing but is too afraid of what other people might think.
  • I am the mother who desperately craves understanding and tolerance for her children.
  • I am the mother who worries that she is not doing enough for her children, but also the mother who realises that she only has 2 hands and 24 hours in a day.
  • I am the mother who is learning to love herself just the way God loves her and the one who believes that life is good.
  • Yes. I am THAT mother :D

My children will not fly under any radars and they will not go through life feeling like failures.

 What kind of mother are you?
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25 things to tell my children….

This is a list of 25 things that I really would like my children to learn about life and what I consider to be the most important things that I can teach them in my role as their mother.

I’ve written them all down in the form of a letter that I will print up and give to each of them when they turn 18 but for now, this list is laminated and stuck to the back of our toilet door!

I am amazed how much of this has sunk in over the past few years and regularly hear them quoting parts of is to each other.

Here goes:

My dear, precious, amazing children,

1. Please know that I love you all so incredibly much. And love is most definitely a verb.

2. There is nothing that any of you could ever do that would cause me to love you less. But this revelation is not permission to break the law, intentionally hurt someone or create havoc. There is also nothing that I wouldn’t do for any of you. But don’t deliberately push me just to find out my limit.

3. There are not enough hours in the day to show you how special you all are to me, and I want you to remember that even when it appears that I am pre-occupied and too busy for you – I’m only ever a hug away. I will drop anything if any of you ever need me. And don’t believe anything or anyone that disputes this because it’s simply not true.

4. I believe that you are all capable of achieving great things and I will support whatever life decision you make.  Even if what you choose to do is non-conventional and low paying. As long as it makes you happy and you do your best.

5. Having an asperger’s diagnosis gives you a reason for anger and resentment but not a right. There is a big difference. Some things will always seem more challenging and harder for you than for others but it’s not an excuse to give up. You are all blessed with many talents and skills and you WILL succeed despite being wired a little differently to your peers. Use this to your advantage instead. Choose to excel.

6. Respect those that are in leadership over you. You may not always agree with them but respect has nothing to do with this. If you learn this – you will go far in life.

7. Treat other people as you would like to be treated yourself and always go the extra mile.  Let people cut in front of you in lines, pay for friend’s meals and be the first one to say “I’m sorry” .

8. Don’t retaliate. It only exacerbates the problem and makes matters much worse. It doesn’t achieve anything but creates more drama and grief.

9. Always take the high road  – The view is much nicer from up there.

10. Don’t argue for argument’s sake and don’t desire to be right at all costs. It’s just not worth it in the end. Agreeing to disagree is a safer and much kinder route.

11. Stay close to one another. One day Dad and I will no longer be around and you will all need each other.  Even when you’ve all grown up and have gone your own ways – keep the sibling link alive and nurtured.

You will be pleased that you did.

12. Always do your best. You don’t have to always win, but as long as you gave it your best shot – that’s the most important thing.

13. Know what you want out of life and give it all you’ve got. Don’t worry if your dream is not the same as everyone else around you. We were all created differently for a reason. We don’t all have the same giftings.

14. There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to life plans.  The catch phrase I want you all to memorise and repeat as your life mantra is : Different is NOT wrong.

 15. Be who you are. Be who you were created to be. Don’t mimic other people because you envy their lives. Things are never really as they appear. Everyone has problems – some people are just better at hiding theirs than others.

16. Don’t sit back and expect everything to be handed to you. Work hard and work faithfully. God will see to it that you are rewarded accordingly.

17. Don’t believe everything that people tell you. If it doesn’t line up with the word of God and doesn’t sit right within you – don’t take it on board – it’s not for you. It’s ok to say no.

18. Don’t cheat and don’t be dishonest. You will ALWAYS be found out on both accounts and people will learn that you cannot be trusted.

Keep your integrity in everything.

19. Speak words of life and words of love. Don’t beat people down verbally and don’t always say everything that you are thinking. Once a sentence is out- it’s impossible to take it back again.

Think before you speak.

20. Choose you life partner wisely. Choose someone who you not only love, but someone who you respect. Make sure it’s someone that treats you how you deserve to be treated and treat them well in return.

21. Talk about everything before you decide to marry.

22. Ask the hard questions like:  Are we having children? When? How many? Where will we live?  What is our plan B if things start to go awry? & What is our ultimate escape plan as a family?  If you both know these things up front – most things can be worked out before they occur.

23. Aim high. Don’t settle for mediocre – you deserve the very best in life and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

24. Know your limits and learn balance. People pleasing is very taxing on your soul, your emotions, your family and ultimately your life. It’s impossible to serve two masters. Don’t let your work become more important than your family and don’t let anything become more important than your relationship with Christ.

Lastly and most importantly:

25.  Put your trust in God not man. Man will ultimately fail you because we are all only human but God will NEVER fail you or forsake you. He will never let you fall.

Love always Mum xxxxx