Starting Again

image via morguefile.com

image via morguefile.com

I know I haven’t blogged regularly in over 18 months and that my posts on my FB Page have been few and far between. And I’m a long way from the twice-daily blogger that I used to be on my old (no longer existing) blog, and whilst I miss it – I realise that my life is no longer where it was back then and that I needed to do what I needed to do to look after myself and my family.

I (we all) really needed to heal more than anything else. Autism has continually kicked all of our butts in a big way and my son went (and continues to go through) some pretty major struggles with his mental health that meant that blogging and sharing about our life was not even do-able let alone wise.

Not only did the blog suffer – I also deleted my personal Facebook profile and laid low because I simply wasn’t able to be what people expected of me (or what I had imagined they did) so it was much easier to just hide than deal with the questions and the digging.

In the past 2 years, (especially) I’ve experienced quite a lot of personal hurt and heartache that still smarts occasionally, but I now understand that I needed to go through it all in order to grow and develop my character. It completely sucked going through the mill but for me to begin to deal with the severe and major depression that I had fallen into – it was a necessary path because it has showed me that I’m a lot tougher than I ever thought I was and I can cope with more than I ever thought possible.

I don’t let people intimidate me as much as I used to and I have decided to use my experiences as a lesson in what NOT to do from now on when I blog.  So many other autism parent blogs have disappeared lately because of the spike in online trolling and name-calling, but I refuse to small allow a group of outspoken, judgemental autism parents steal away my voice. Especially when I gain so many therapeutic benefits from writing.

I have such wonderful kids who continue to challenge me to be a better mother and who teach me far more than I could ever teach them and my boys have ben showing such wonderful progress and I just can’t wait to share it all here.

I am no longer angry, nor am I seeking revenge and I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was this time 12 months ago and I have so many good things to write about.

But not tonight. Tonight I must SLEEP!

If you’re new here – read this first..

First of all, welcome.

Sincerely.

I’m glad you have dropped by my blog for whatever reason. 🙂

A little about the history of this blog: I have blogged previously at 2 other WordPress blogs and originally began blogging about my family back in April of 2010.

During that time I was Freshly Pressed and gained a sizeable number of email subscribers, blog followers and daily hits. But one day it occurred to me that none of this was important to me.

I realised that I really didn’t give a toss about those statistics, but what I found myself placing more importance on, was being true to myself, protecting my children’s rights and writing from my heart even if it wasn’t going to get noticed. I realised that I didn’t want to write about what everyone else seemed to be writing about and I wasn’t really interested in becoming a big-time blogger.  (Plus, I didn’t have the time to put into promoting my blog or blogging regularly anyway!)

I wanted to go back to why I originally started blogging – to create a place where I would be able to gain the therapeutic benefits that writing brings me, and also so that I could share our story with other families who may be walking along similar paths.

I have learned a LOT since my very first blog post and I admit that when I started out, I was INCREDIBLY naive. I now realise that:

  • Not everyone on the internet is kind.
  • Having a child with a diagnosis is not always enough in common to cement friendships with other autism parents.
  • There will always be people out there who will disagree with you and they will not be backwards in coming forward with their views and opinions.
  • Some of them will get personal.
  • Being too honest will open you up to cyber-bullying and may get you accused of playing the “poor me” card too often.
  • You have to decide to either let them win or refuse to be bullied into defeat.
  • Some people on the internet hide behind their computers and write things that they would probably never say to your face.
  • Children don’t deserve to be ridiculed because of decisions and choices that their parents have made.
  • I am extremely emotional and make too many decisions with my heart and not enough with my head.
  • I am not like everyone else and I march to the beat of a very different drum. And that is completely and entirely ok.

So in saying that – welcome to “Wonderfully Wired version 2”.

This time I will be refraining from posting photographs of my children. (Yes I realise that the internet has things called caches and our digital footprint already exists) but I have no control over that. I do however, have control of what I post from now on.

To begin with, this blog will be mostly made up of a collection of my most favourite posts and the ones that I am most proud of. So those of you who followed the older blog (which is now deleted) will have a sense of de ja vu when reading some of these posts. I will be starting to add newer posts as I feel inspired sometime in the new year and when life has returned to ‘our version’ of normal.

Hopefully you’ll all join me to share in the trials and triumphs that 2014 will bring.

Fi x

Please note that the URL of this blog has changed to http://www.wonderfullywiredblog.wordpress.com so if you had the old URL (same but without the word ‘blog’ in it) you will need to change it in your bookmarks.
Also – if you had an email subscription or “followed” the old blog via WordPress – you will also need to re-follow or re-enter your email address in order to remain on the receiving list for new posts.

Thanks x